I used to feel hurt if I thought people didn’t like me because I was nice. It’s taken me a long time to overcome this but it’s actually a relief now. It’s OK to accept that you will not be friends with everyone. It takes too much energy trying to win over those who are not interested.
Once you have accepted this concept, there are some things you can do to make things easier. First, refrain from making negative comments. It is easy to let a slip of the tongue make a situation worse. Always be the better person. You never know when you may run into the same person again or circulate within circles where someone may hear a conversation and comments get back.
When you do find a friend that is a keeper, you will discover that one of the characteristics of that friendship is loyalty. When a person understands your heart, they will always have your best interests in mind and will stand up for you when it counts. These are the friendships that last a lifetime, withstanding years and distance. When you finally meet again, it’s like it was yesterday and you just pick up where you left off.
Friendship is different than networking. Networking introduces you to people you should know in a given field, usually for business or employment purposes. Those relationships can turn into friendships over time. Friendship is a connection in which someone gets what you think, say and do.
Here is an example. I may act differently in three different settings and it can confuse people who don’t know me well but those who understand me are supportive and help me through those settings. In a performance setting, I shine. I love to sing and speak, especially on topics I am passionate about. I make a connection with the audience. My audience is usually offenders, the homeless, those in recovery and church folks. I get to touch people in their hearts.
One on one, I am very talkative and love to laugh. I am very caring and am empathetic when someone is in pain. I love to encourage others. I love to brainstorm, problem solve and dream up ideas.
In a group setting which is unfriendly or hostile, I am reserved. That can put people off. They don’t quite know what to make of me. My feelings are written all over my face. I wish I didn’t have that problem but haven’t figured out how to overcome it.
I can say that my true friends are very loyal. I can count on them anytime I need them. I also would do anything for them as well. Personalities may draw people together but loyalty is what makes lasting friendships.
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